Songs to clean poop to

27Aug08

Salt 'n Pepa are two important pillars in the foundation of your child's musical education.

For some reason, Buster really doesn’t like diaper-changing time. He lets out these yowls that make me worry about my future hearing ability and his future hygiene habits.

Personally, I think the idea of someone taking care of an undercarriage wash for me sounds rather convenient. Not Buster. But he does seem to relax a bit if I sing to him.

There are all kinds of music that have been written for specific occasions and activities.

There are a million songs for falling in love. There are songs for getting it on once you’re in love. There are songs for breaking up once you’re out of love again. There are songs for showing you love your country. There are songs for birthdays. There are songs for funerals. There are even songs for workin’ on the railroad.  And of course, there are lullabies for making babies fall asleep.

But there aren’t very many for cleaning poop off of them.

I think this is unfortunate. And so I’m presenting a list of songs that can be easily modified for you to sing to your child while changing diapers. I do this at the risk you’ll think that I’m hopelessly disturbed. I do recommend playing the actual linked songs in the background so you know where the lyrics fit in. Or maybe just sticking with a nice music box.

• “Poopytown,” sung to the tune of Funkytown. Lyric sample: Gotta make a poop at a time that’s right for me... / Won’t you take me to… Poopytown? Won’t you take me to… Poopy TOWN.
  

• “Little Deuce Poop,” sung to the tune of Little Deuce Coupe. Lyric sample: Well I’m not bragging babe, so don’t put me down / But I got the stinkiest poop in town / It’s a little deuce poop / now you know why I cry

• “The Kid from Poopanema,” sung to the tune of The Girl from Ipanema. Lyric sample: Brown and tan and so damn yucky / the kid from Poopanema gets plucky and when he pushes, each time he pushes, says “unnnnngh”
  

• “Poopin Ain’t Easy,” rapped to the beat of Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy. Lyric sample: Anything goes when that smell’s up my nose / cause poopin’ ain’t easy / naw-naw-no, poopin’ ain’t easy

• “Fixing A-Hole,” sung to the tune of Fixing a Hole. Lyric sample: I’m fixing a hole where the poop’s getting out to stop your hind from wandering…

• “Get off of my Child,” sung to the tune of Get off of My Cloud. Lyric sample: Hey! Poop! Get off of my child! / Hey! Poop! Get off of my child! / Hey! Poop! Get off of my child! / Don’t hang around or he’ll poo you out!”
  

• “Doo Doo Doo, Da Da Da,” sung to the tune of the Police song by a similar name. Lyric sample: Doo doo doo on Da Da Da / this is what I waited for? / Doo doo doo on Da Da Da / I think I got some on the floor.

And finally, my personal favorite:

• “Poop,” rapped and sung to the tune of Shoop. Lyric sample: Brightness, my son, I wanna have some fun / Come come and give me some of that yum-yum / Chocolate chip, doo doo dip / Can I get a scoop? / You know you make me wanna poop. / Poop! Poopie Doop! Poopie Doop! Poopie Doopie Doopie Doop!

Salt N’ Pepa also gave the world Push It, an excellent listening choice for the youngster about 15 minutes before you sing the selections above.

Got your own favorite poop tunes?  Please do share.

I’m going to try to go the next 12 hours now without using the word poop. Um, starting now.

Filed under: Tips   |  17 Comments
Tags: baby poop, changing diapers, children's music, children's songs, fatherhood, infancy, lullabies, lullabye