Oh man oh man oh BOY

Our baby did not have extra arms.

Our baby did not have extra arms.

Our healthy baby boy was delivered yesterday afternoon via C-section, and everything is great with Mom too. I am so very grateful.

He is 7 lbs. 9 oz., and 19 inches long – not at all puny, I should note. What I shouldn’t note is the giant set of balls on the kid. But once the doctor told me they were just fine I felt okay about bragging to everyone that the boy has the bells of a nine-year old.

I will post more details about our first 24 hours together when my face stops hurting from smiling. And perhaps when I’ve provided my brain more sustenance than seven grapes and six slices of pre-cooked chicken from a bag. I predict a good portion of that post will be to talk about how I would like to be swaddled myself, after failing in about 30 swaddling attempts before finally straightjacketing the lad properly.

I won’t be posting photos here, though, for those who have asked. This is partially because I don’t want my kid to hate me later, given that I’ve made his testicles (not tentacles) the centerpiece of every picture so far.

It is also because I’m afraid of Internet sickos. My real-life job has made me more aware than is probably healthy about the depths of depravity that exist out there. Please don’t feel the need to ascribe to my paranoia, but if you already feel the same way, you might consider creating a private social network for your family at Ning. (No, I don’t work there.)

The other reason I won’t be posting a photograph is that an image here of the world’s most attractive baby would surely set the bar way too high for your own offspring. But don’t worry, your heavy brow ridge will look good on your kid once he’s in high school.

So that brings me to my final point – the pseudonym for the little guy. There were a lot of good suggestions. But I threw them all out because none of you have any sense of branding. Although I do plan on keeping She-ra in mind if I do ever have a girl. Not just for a pseudonym, either.

My first child will be known here forever after as Buster.


14 Responses to “Oh man oh man oh BOY”

  1. Congratulations to you and your wife on the arrival of Buster 🙂 Buster’s jewels will remain that way for a little while longer, so enjoy them and brag as much as you can now. Enjoy these special moments because they grow up far too quickly.

  2. Congrats on Buster! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, and, rest when you can get it!

  3. Congratulations!! Although I’d love to see a photo of Baby Boy Buster, I totally understand not posting any. I rarely post pictures of my kids and when I do, their faces aren’t visible.

    Maybe you could just post a drawing of him.

  4. 4 il

    That’s an awesome idea, April. I am a cubist, coincidentally.

  5. Congratulations, Dad.
    (Has that stopped sounding weird yet?)

    And the very very best to Buster and Mom.

  6. 6 theshoptart

    Congratulations to Buster, Mom and Dad!

  7. Congratulations!!

    I’m glad to hear that the birth went well. Some tips for your wife re the c-section: take home that mesh underwear (and more if you can grab a couple) because the scar will be sore for a while, keep on top of taking the pain meds at home because you’d be surprised how bad you can feel at first, remember that you need at least three weeks to heal – really!, but also keep in mind that even though the first few weeks will feel like an eternity that it’s just a few weeks and then you’ll be surprised at how back-to-normal you feel.

  8. Congratulations!

    My only tip: You can NEVER have enough diaper wipes in the house.

    Also glad to hear Buster has balls of steel.

  9. Congratulations!

  10. Congratulations on the baby boy. Im sure you will have many good stories of you and Buster.

  11. Good luck to you, your wife, and your giant-balled baby boy. I agree with you about The Internet, and your explanation of the lack of pictures is perfect. Nice work all around!

  12. Congrats on the healthy baby boy! My wife and I just had our second little girl so you and I are in the same running-on-little-sleep train. Also glad to hear that mom is doing well – it helps when mommy is happy 🙂

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